Following Our Feelings...

Nevermore than today, am I sure that God considers the needs of a woman and mother. He has formed us from the side of our husband to be the perfect helpmate, the tender partner, the one who adds emotional balance to the equation. We lovingly give children instruction and guidance and as they grow their own ideas take the stage. It is our job as the woman in their lives to explain to them and also show them that they cannot make decisions based on their feelings, but on the Word of God.

I have erred in this area for many years, standing on the falsehood that “God gave me these feelings and I’m gonna let them all hang out!” How immature of me, I know. But I wonder how many women justify their tongue and reaction based on their feelings of rejection, depression, anger, hurt and disappointment.

The truth is . . . as Paul shares, “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9). His power and my weakness lead me to search through the verses in the book of Proverbs on wisdom, self-control, the tongue and pride. God is so good that He anointed these men with the words that would convict millions of people of their sin in a timeless fashion. The awe that this brings me leaves me astounded as to the power of the Holy Spirit, the One who convicts, instructs, reminds, brings unity, and comforts.

I understand the desperate nature of David’s prayer when he pleads, “Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me” (Psalms 51:11). And now my prayer is for forgiveness and “that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to [me] the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, (Ephesians 1:17).

I am not wise; no human being is wise on her own. We may want to believe we are, especially if we have been gaining accolades outside of our home. But if inside the walls and in the presence of those we have entrusted to care and bestow grace upon we are falling to the temptation of our raw emotions, we have proof that we are not wise.

Seeking to know wisdom and actually follow her after God grants me the moment of clarity and understanding is a huge goal of mine. I praise God for sharing His thoughts with mankind, including me. I pray that I would “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the LORD and depart from evil” (Proverbs 3:5-7).

For the Love of God & Girlfriends

I think as girls and women there is a part of us that wants to please the authority over us or seek their approval in many ways. During my childhood years, I believe I fit the description of “people-pleaser” pretty well. As a girl, I desired to please the authority of man; you see, I did not have a relationship with the Lord.

I surrounded myself with girlfriends that were well liked by others, especially my parents. We were all nice girls by the world’s standards until we became teenagers. At that age, most of my friendships with girls dissolved as we each pursued dating relationships with boys who were not pleasing to authority and sought the approval of no one. I walked the fine line between conformity and rebellion, being drawn strongly by the rebels. This dating behavior lasted through high school and part of college.

In January 1999, God drew me to Himself after the birth of my son and the dissolution of my relationship with his dad. God met me where I was in my state of emotional numbness and my season of single parenthood. He brought me the gift of Himself through the vessel of a long lost girlfriend, who ministered to me and invited me to church. In His house, I accepted Jesus as my Savior in mind, heart and soul and began my personal relationship with God, turning my focus towards pleasing Him.

It is quite staggering to realize the extent of details God orchestrated, removing all obstacles and temptations that would hinder our growing relationship. God drew me to a Spirit filled church that had only one single male member in my age group, who actually left the church looking for other singles. Then, He did something more amazing…He sent me girlfriends one after another who wanted to invest in helping me mature spiritually. Now I mean the kind of girlfriends who mentor you, coach you, correct you, pray over you, serve you, believe in you. Through these faithful vessels, I experienced both philia (brotherly) love and agape (self-sacrificing) love. God changed my life through these girlfriends, reminding me that humble servant hood is what bonds us and glorifies Him.

If it weren’t for God sending Himself to me through my girlfriends, I may not have seen the evidence of His character so clearly in my early walk.

Reflections In The Window

One day, like many days in my married life, I was standing in the kitchen cooking dinner for my family of six. After breading chicken and placing it in the frying pan, I stood washing my hands at the sink. Lifting my eyes, I glanced out the window and was reminded that my four children and husband were on the other side of the glass. As they were outside playing ~ laughing and making memories ~ I grew frustrated. My attitude turned scornful and I caught myself thinking, “This is so unfair! While they are outside enjoying family time together, I am stuck in here preparing this meal for them!”

I’m sure I’m not the only woman or mother who’s found themselves wandering down the trail to “It’s Not Fair” town. The lies of this world tell us we deserve to be having fun every minute of the day and that we shouldn’t have to miss out or give up something we may enjoy. Many things plague me as I contemplate this scenario: the pride that demands fairness, the scornful attitude that is the mark of the ungodly (Psalm 1:1), and the selfishness that centers all thoughts on my desires.

The TRUTH is…the world lies and tempts us to seek instant gratification at all times! The sooner we begin “casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5), the more alert we’ll be when the world’s priorities invade our home and our hearts. He commands us, “Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5). What we have are our God appointed roles as women, wives, mothers, friends, daughters, sisters, etc. We are to be content in fulfilling the roles that He has given us. In Philippians 3:14, Paul reminds us to, like him, “…press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” If we are looking inward, as I did facing my selfish reflection in the window, then we are not looking up. In verse 15, God’s Word says, “Therefore let us, as many as are mature, have this mind; and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal even this to you.” God doesn’t forsake us even when we are sitting in the muck of our sinfulness; He will reveal our immature attitudes and mindsets. The question is: What do we, as His daughters, choose to do with these truthful revelations of the Holy Spirit?

The TRUTH is…my husband had worked a long day and was expressing his love for our children by playing with them in God’s Creation. He was loving me by allowing me to have “free” time in the house without kids hanging from my leg, or balls being thrown by my head, as I tried to cook. The truth is I was serving them at that moment, preparing a warm meal to share with them during our first real “family time” of the day, sitting around the table breaking bread together while discussing events, emotions and God sightings. What a blessing that the Lord has appointed me to be the one who is able to nourish my family in both body and Spirit with the food and guidance that He has provided. MF