For the Love of God & Girlfriends

I think as girls and women there is a part of us that wants to please the authority over us or seek their approval in many ways. During my childhood years, I believe I fit the description of “people-pleaser” pretty well. As a girl, I desired to please the authority of man; you see, I did not have a relationship with the Lord.

I surrounded myself with girlfriends that were well liked by others, especially my parents. We were all nice girls by the world’s standards until we became teenagers. At that age, most of my friendships with girls dissolved as we each pursued dating relationships with boys who were not pleasing to authority and sought the approval of no one. I walked the fine line between conformity and rebellion, being drawn strongly by the rebels. This dating behavior lasted through high school and part of college.

In January 1999, God drew me to Himself after the birth of my son and the dissolution of my relationship with his dad. God met me where I was in my state of emotional numbness and my season of single parenthood. He brought me the gift of Himself through the vessel of a long lost girlfriend, who ministered to me and invited me to church. In His house, I accepted Jesus as my Savior in mind, heart and soul and began my personal relationship with God, turning my focus towards pleasing Him.

It is quite staggering to realize the extent of details God orchestrated, removing all obstacles and temptations that would hinder our growing relationship. God drew me to a Spirit filled church that had only one single male member in my age group, who actually left the church looking for other singles. Then, He did something more amazing…He sent me girlfriends one after another who wanted to invest in helping me mature spiritually. Now I mean the kind of girlfriends who mentor you, coach you, correct you, pray over you, serve you, believe in you. Through these faithful vessels, I experienced both philia (brotherly) love and agape (self-sacrificing) love. God changed my life through these girlfriends, reminding me that humble servant hood is what bonds us and glorifies Him.

If it weren’t for God sending Himself to me through my girlfriends, I may not have seen the evidence of His character so clearly in my early walk.

Reflections In The Window

One day, like many days in my married life, I was standing in the kitchen cooking dinner for my family of six. After breading chicken and placing it in the frying pan, I stood washing my hands at the sink. Lifting my eyes, I glanced out the window and was reminded that my four children and husband were on the other side of the glass. As they were outside playing ~ laughing and making memories ~ I grew frustrated. My attitude turned scornful and I caught myself thinking, “This is so unfair! While they are outside enjoying family time together, I am stuck in here preparing this meal for them!”

I’m sure I’m not the only woman or mother who’s found themselves wandering down the trail to “It’s Not Fair” town. The lies of this world tell us we deserve to be having fun every minute of the day and that we shouldn’t have to miss out or give up something we may enjoy. Many things plague me as I contemplate this scenario: the pride that demands fairness, the scornful attitude that is the mark of the ungodly (Psalm 1:1), and the selfishness that centers all thoughts on my desires.

The TRUTH is…the world lies and tempts us to seek instant gratification at all times! The sooner we begin “casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5), the more alert we’ll be when the world’s priorities invade our home and our hearts. He commands us, “Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5). What we have are our God appointed roles as women, wives, mothers, friends, daughters, sisters, etc. We are to be content in fulfilling the roles that He has given us. In Philippians 3:14, Paul reminds us to, like him, “…press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” If we are looking inward, as I did facing my selfish reflection in the window, then we are not looking up. In verse 15, God’s Word says, “Therefore let us, as many as are mature, have this mind; and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal even this to you.” God doesn’t forsake us even when we are sitting in the muck of our sinfulness; He will reveal our immature attitudes and mindsets. The question is: What do we, as His daughters, choose to do with these truthful revelations of the Holy Spirit?

The TRUTH is…my husband had worked a long day and was expressing his love for our children by playing with them in God’s Creation. He was loving me by allowing me to have “free” time in the house without kids hanging from my leg, or balls being thrown by my head, as I tried to cook. The truth is I was serving them at that moment, preparing a warm meal to share with them during our first real “family time” of the day, sitting around the table breaking bread together while discussing events, emotions and God sightings. What a blessing that the Lord has appointed me to be the one who is able to nourish my family in both body and Spirit with the food and guidance that He has provided. MF